This is the Ode to old people submitted by John H., sung to the tune "My favorite things".

My Favorite Things

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up I string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs, cataracts, hearing aids, glasses,

Polident, Fixodent, false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf cats and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,

When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads, hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin’,

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,

More of the pleasures advancing age brings –

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

I simply remember the great life I’ve had,

And then I don’t feel … so bad!